Saturday, August 29, 2009

I Scream for Happiness

Whats common to b-grade horrid slash and kill Hollywood movies inspired by J-Horror, rock shows, Wonder-La and K serials? They all make you scream (or at least attempt to), well the last point also witnesses bouts of physical abuse like smashing up TV screens, repeatedly beating your own head with the now defunct TV remote and early signs of balding considering most it has been pulled out due to aforementioned frustrations.

Now Wonder-La on the other hand has a precise manner in which it leads you on a path to happiness. 'A path' since everyone has their own internal GPS to such an end. My own understanding of Wonder-La's service to mankind came about with a visit to the amusement park (see it- amuses people) a month back. I have'nt seen such a happy lot, all assembled at one point in my life ever so far, except when doused in heady spirits or addled in some variety of chemically induced state of euphoria.

So why do people pay about 700 bucks to willfully be thrown around, jerked about, subjected to body bending experiences at various contortious angles and land down tall water slides with stinging wedgies? Because it lets them scream. Like when they used to as kids when taken spinning around their parents/grandparents/uncles/aunts/(fill in any person who spun you around or made you think you were a spaceship on a mission to Mars here)heads. Of course the kids who actually got thrown out of orbit and landed on their unfortunate bottoms or even worse, heads might be traumatised by the series of what they might not find amusing rides.

Apart from bringing back childhood memories screaming also has other benefits. Scream inducing movies are ideal to get those hormones going. Most Hollywood movies show a first date couple going for a scream-thon, where the girl and boy feign fear and make a lunge for each others bodies and finally end up in bed. Now where do you see that happening with a comedy or an art movie as your chosen date movie.

Screaming at an infuriating boss or when in a long queue outside an ATM can also prove beneficial. Others appear at the scene of screaming when your boss is with you and you can point an accusatory finger at the sexual deviant and you are either promoted replacing your boss or sent back home with enough compensation to keep you quiet and content till retirement and beyond. Screaming at an overcrowded ATM can leave many people disgruntled, vacating the queue before their over-burdened ear drums implode.

So create more opportunities where you can scream at the top of your lungs and caterwaul your way to happiness and success. If you cant bother I suggest opening a bottle of some potent amber liquid and a bag of sunshine. The downside being you could de-evolve to a vegetable sooner than expected.